I said I wouldn't be writing today, but as I was reading from The Greatest Gift (Ann Voskamp) this evening, I felt the need. As much as it gives me joy to take a break sometimes, it also brings me joy to write.
"So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, 'On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided'." -Genesis 22: 14
This is where I'm at. Somewhere in the middle of "I thought it would be easier" and "I thought it would be different."
I knew in my head that this change would be a slow crawl, or more like a grinding battle. But when it actually happened after all these months and years of waiting, my head says to me, "this should be easier, things should be different." And really they aren't easier, they are different though, but not in the way that I was expecting.
In moments of cold and dark, I question.
We aren't told what thoughts passed through Abraham's mind as he was taking Isaac up the mountain to make a sacrifice. Did he have questions? Was doubt creeping into the edges of his mind? I guess regardless of what his mind was telling him, his steps never faltered. He was going to follow through with whatever the Lord told him to do.
And this is faith. Keeping your feet moving toward the glory of The One Who Will Provide, leaving the shadows of doubt far behind.
"Every mountain that every Christian ever faces, the Lord levels with sufficient grace: The Lord Will Provide" (p.59).