I'm not having the best day, or week really. The boys have been very rambunctious and not listening very well, which is normal, but it just seems a little extra this week. So as I was contemplating what I'm doing and what I'm supposed to be doing, I thought of my blog for some odd reason. And a question came to my mind: what does it look like to be "farming by faith at Spring Lawn Farm" right now?
It certainly looks different than it did 2.5 years ago, and much, much different than it did 5 years ago.
The farming part looks a lot different. We don't have any animals, not even pets (I'm still trying to convince Josiah that some sort of pet would be good for the boys). We don't farm the land we live on. We watch as others plant, harvest, and work in the fields around our house. Josiah works away from home. He is still a farmer, but now he is a crop farmer for other people. I have a small garden and various flowerbeds that I am attempting to manage, that’s the extent of my agricultural farming duties these days.
On the surface, I would say that the faith part is the only part that has stayed the same. But digging deeper, I know that’s not true. When you’re living through a difficult experience, you need to dig down to find something to keep you from falling over. My faith in God was that. I prayed a lot, I had a running conversation with God throughout the day (and night). I read my Bible consistently. I wrote, either on my blog or in a journal on a regular basis. I had evening worship times where I would sit down with my guitar and play, probably at least once a week. I felt close to God.
I hung on to God’s promises and provision with everything that I had. I prayed for relief from the stress and pain of that situation. And I am now living in a time of release from that, but it’s actually a harder place to exist in than being in the middle of the struggle. Because I don’t have to hold on to God so tightly, lean into Him so much, depend on Him to make it through the day, I don’t “need” to be doing any of those things that I used to do. I try, but it is so much easier to depend on myself when I have all these “small” issues that pop up in my day. I can get through just fine on my own, right? If today is any indicator, the answer is a resounding “no!”
Our location has changed, so we are no longer at the physical location of the farm that was Spring Lawn. But I guess Spring Lawn Farm lives on. Perhaps it was never a location, but a group of people, namely the Garber family, working together to help things grow and provide for people. That is my daily reality. Trying to help my little ones grow in wisdom, knowledge, and character, and providing what I am able to them and others.
So, in a new way, I am still Farming by Faith at Spring Lawn Farm, I just didn’t realize it until today when I was staring at a picture that Josiah took:
It has Philippians 1: 6 written on it:
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
I hope God keeps farming in my life as I keep farming in the lives of my little guys. I certainly need it.
